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THE GARY PIG GOLD REPORT, Vol. 11

EIGHT QUESTIONS FOR THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT GIRL

Rew.jpg

Proudly and loudly doing musical business as Black Flamingo, Flack Blamingo, RewBee, RewWalsh and/or just plain Rew, the jewel of New York City truly is the l-u-v child Ronnie Spector and Patti Smith should have had.

Chocked straight up with her very own grand brand of supremely potty-mouthed pop, and often powered by the ever-percussive spirit of Billy Ficca, Rew sweetly took the time to answer some questions in her own inimitable style (and spelling).

Munsters or Addams Family: Which one's for you, and why?
"I secretly alwayz wanted to be Wednesday ... the Addams were always so classy and black, my favorite color ... but in real life, Herman Munster lived on my street and i used to hang at their house."

Who in the world, living or dead, would you most like to play a game of Twister with?
"John-John Kennedy."

How many Sid King & The Five Strings records do you own?
"Ummmm....who? But I do luv Texas!!! All my records got soaked up in a flood while I was out of town once a few years back. The albums actually saved my apartment by absorbing all the water -- thank heaven for cardboard."

If you had been working the front gate at the Dakota that night back in 1980 when nasty Mark David Chapman showed up, pistol in hand, to avenge the chief Beatle for his "bigger than Jesus" wisecrack, what would you have done?
"Seduce him in any way possible and then spin him around by his hair like a lasso until his eyes popped out of his head and then leave him until he could see again. I think his vision was gone to begin with along with his mind, so I guess he'd still be lying there."

Gilligan or The Professor: Which one’s for you, and for how long?
"I do luv getting into trouble, so I guess I have to pick Gilligan ‘cause he is alwayz getting into trouble, and The Professor would always be getting out of trouble, and who needs that?

"Gilligan would probably get me so crazy, too, and i luv crazy -- just pissing me off and making me laugh.

"How long – well, would we still be on the island?"

What single song do you most wish you'd written, and why didn't you?
"It would have to be the R. Kelly 'Trapped in the Closet' opera 'cause, damn, that is the longest single I ever heard, and you can never ever believe all the twists and turns that go on and the brilliant writing. It's pure crazy entertainment and pure genius.

"I didn't write it ‘cause as twisted as some may believe I am, I am an innocent baby next to this man's imagination, or experience."

Whose heart-shaped, purple guitar would you most like to be reincarnated as?
"Funny, I have a heart-shaped purple guitar, but i sure would luv Prince having it and playing it, if it were me! I know he'd treat me rite."

In 2,000 words or less, what are your hopes, aspirations and goals, musical or otherwise, for your life and your country?
"Wow, hopes, aspirations and goalz -- that's a lot to ask. … I would luv my humble, honest songz to get thru to masses of people and let them know that we all basically share a lot of the same feelings and desires and ups and downs and heartaches and dreams and surprizes and disappointments.

"Now, did I even answer the question?"

-- Musician/writer Gary Pig Gold is the co-founder of the To M’Lou Music label.

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